Rethinking Money, Identity and Fulfillment, with Jane Bond

Cammie Doder (00:06):
Welcome to the Money Tales podcast, where money gets personal. I’m Cammie Doder

Sandi Bragar (00:11):
And I’m Sandi Brager.

Cammie Doder (00:13):
Money can open doors, but what happens when the life it builds no longer feels like your own? In this episode, Jane Bond shares her powerful journey of financial success, personal misalignment, and then the courageous decision to dismantle an identity that no longer served her from selling multimillion dollar homes to stepping back and redefining what truly matters. Jane explores how money, identity, and values intersect.

Sandi Bragar (00:43):
Here are three money conversations. This episode will help you navigate first when financial success becomes a disconnect from who you truly are. Jane talks about how achieving at a high level can create external validation, and it can also mask a growing sense of misalignment and loss of self. Second, how societal expectations and environments can shape your relationship with money. For Jane being surrounded by wealth and performance pressures drove achievement while also reinforcing values that didn’t feel authentic to her. And third ways you can realign money with your identity and your values. We talk about how letting go of status driven choices and redefining priorities can create a more grounded, intentional, and fulfilling financial life. Now it’s our pleasure to bring you Jane Bond’s money Tales.

Cammie Doder (01:36):
Welcome Jane Bond to the Money Tales podcast. We’re thrilled to have you with us today.

Jane Bond (01:41):
Thank you. Thank you for inviting me on.

Cammie Doder (01:44):
Before we kick off with you, Jane, I was thinking about something that we all of us need, which is health insurance. And I knew it was expensive, but I have a change in work circumstances. I’m more focused at experience, so I’m going part-time and I’m on Cobra. And with that comes this eye-opening experience of how shockingly expensive health insurance is.

Sandi Bragar (02:08):
So when you’re on Cobra, you need to cover the whole cost of the insurance at the company’s rate,

Cammie Doder (02:14):
At the company’s rate, right Sandi? So we get a pretty good rate. So I’m mentally preparing when I’m not on Cobra. I’ve already started researching. I am learning what the future has in store for us, and it’s shocking. And in these conversations, Sandi, I’m hearing a lot of people talk about how not a lot of people, but a few friends when I’ve shared this have said, oh, that’s why I’m in the job I’m in. Or I’m finding that insurance is a driver around employment. And I just thought that was kind of interesting.

Sandi Bragar (02:50):
Yeah, it can be for some people because there’s not a lot of choice when you don’t get your insurance through your employer. It’s very difficult to buy your own private insurance unless you have a business that, and I think then you even need to have employees. And so that leads the remaining choice being the policies that are available that were created under the Affordable Care Act. And Kami, I think the good news for you is that under Cobra really gives you a good guide path. So good for you on looking into the next steps now

Cammie Doder (03:29):
Rather

Sandi Bragar (03:29):
Than just waiting, because I know there are solutions in place.

Cammie Doder (03:34):
Yeah, absolutely. And let me know

Sandi Bragar (03:35):
If I can help.

Cammie Doder (03:36):
Thank you for that. Before we kick things off, I’m just curious, we have to understand your name, Jane Bond. Are you a comic book character? Are we talking to the Real Jane Bond?

Jane Bond (03:48):
Yes, you are. And that’s my real name.

Cammie Doder (03:50):
I love it.

Jane Bond (03:51):
My father’s name isn’t James, but yes, that’s my real name.

Cammie Doder (03:55):
I love it. Well, Jane, would you briefly introduce yourself and share a couple pivotal moments that have taken place in your life really influenced who you are today?

Jane Bond (04:05):
I’m a real estate broker and author and identity strategist. Certain things as far as money is involved, money has never just been money for me. It’s been identity, freedom and truth. And when I think of it like that, I think of quite a few pivotal moments just recently, the last past two years, I had to reinvent myself personally, financially, and pretty much emotionally and completely release myself of some of the, I call ’em shiny things, to really become that authentic person that I always knew I was inside and I didn’t need to collect items to understand the character that I was cultivating within myself. That was one of the pivotal moments of my life, just releasing myself of all of that and saying, and I need to stay true to who I am as a person.

Cammie Doder (05:04):
Jane, would you mind sharing what happened in the last couple of years that required this?

Jane Bond (05:08):
Well, I just realize that I was, for me, somewhat being an imposter because I’ve had several different careers in my life, and I kind of looked at things at one point and there was a controlled environment also in my life throughout my marriage and work and where I was. And there was so many a culmination of things,

Cammie Doder (05:32):
Never just one thing.

Jane Bond (05:34):
I was in an area where no one looked like me and I was able to rise to the top. And with that, a lot of expectations came and I found that I was carrying things that weren’t mine to carry, and I had to release them and then understand that I didn’t grow up in a certain manner. So all of the things that I was putting importance on really weren’t important to me. And when I came to that realization, I was like, okay, I need to do something about this. And then that allowed me to play the records back in my mind with the different careers that I’ve had because I have several careers. I heard one lady say, not too long ago, change your career every 10 years and you’ll end up where you belong. And it just stuck with me. And I went, wow, okay.

(06:20):
This is where that whole identity strategy came in. And I realized that if I’m not in alignment, then nothing that I’m putting out there is giving me peace and joy. Happiness is fleeting. So let me pull back and say, okay, where do you want to be in your life at this stage, Jane? And that’s when you make the decisions, and that’s when you start peeling the layers off. I call it somewhat shapeshifting. I read not too long ago, I think it was Jefferson Fisher, he said, the person you’re standing in front of you is not the person you’re normally talking to because there’s so many different inherited traits. And I went, wow, that’s true. Not only am I six feet tall with big curly hair, I’m black, I have a lot of different things behind me with generations. And that comes forward at times with my opinions and my thought process and everything, even dealing with people. And throughout the time of working in real estate, which I still do, but it’s not my volume business now, I worked with a lot of high stakes people that was making decisions in reference to money, and I realized there was a lot of things they had to unpack to get to that transition.

Cammie Doder (07:38):
Oh, yeah.

Jane Bond (07:40):
That’s kind of where it came from as far as my relationship with money and the pivots that I had to make.

Sandi Bragar (07:47):
Jane, I’m going, we go a little deeper and share how money was part of this reinvention. So it sounds like you’re very successful in the real estate business, but felt like an imposter.

Jane Bond (08:00):
Yes.

Sandi Bragar (08:00):
And so what role did money play in in reaching that point and then in your subsequent reinvention?

Jane Bond (08:09):
Well, like I said, money means a few things to me, it just doesn’t mean having all the beautiful things that people strive for and desire. There’s that desirability bias that you want, and then there’s other desire that you need. I came from a place of understanding and observing what money does for you and what it doesn’t do for you when you don’t have it. So being in a place like Naples, Florida, everyone around me had it. It was so elevated in your face and the expectations once you climb to a certain level in the real estate market just felt so much pressure of falseness

Cammie Doder (08:54):
Pressure to do more, always to do more. Is that what I’m

Jane Bond (08:57):
Well, it’s definitely a numbers business. It’s a performance business no matter what you have to perform. And of course, I was performing at my highest level intentionally also because that’s who I am. If I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it to my best ability.

Sandi Bragar (09:12):
So presumably you’re making a lot of money

Jane Bond (09:14):
At that point? Yes. Hand over fist. Yes. If that’s what you want to say. Selling multimillion dollar properties, it’s one thing to sell a million dollar property, but when you get into the double multimillions, that’s something different. And not only that, your profile climbs and

Sandi Bragar (09:29):
You’re receiving, you’re paid as a commission

Jane Bond (09:31):
Based

Sandi Bragar (09:32):
On the value of these properties that you’re selling,

Jane Bond (09:34):
Which can change your life. I mean, if you do well, it change your life actually. You become one of the clients. You start becoming one of the clients, you’re building $10 million houses for yourself in relationship to that. It just made me, it didn’t sit well with me just the whole, I guess at one point the industry. And still today I look at it and I go, wow, I was really involved with that. That’s not really who I am. And I just started pulling back and started looking at it differently and decided I need to make a transition on my own. I didn’t recognize myself, so to speak,

(10:13):
And I was just full steam ahead and it just didn’t feel good. I found that I wasn’t close to my family. I was moving, moving, moving, going forward, forward, forward and leaving back everything I’ve known that made me feel good. That gave me joy. My mother’s 87 now. I was not coming home to visit her, and I was just working and I thought, no, this doesn’t work. This is not good for me. I’m a different person. And one day I looked in the mirror and I had this picture of myself sitting on my dressing table, and it was when I first went to college and I had this look and this smile, and I remember looking at that picture and saying really loudly, oh my God, where are you? I want to be you again. I want to feel what you feel in this picture. So I felt a little loss, and I’m just being fully transparent with you guys.

Cammie Doder (11:08):
It’s incredible. Yeah, no, I really

Sandi Bragar (11:10):
Appreciate that.

Cammie Doder (11:11):
You started out by saying money you think of as identity, freedom and truth, and it sounds like you felt freedom with making the success of it, but then there’s a point where you lose your freedom. Did you lose your freedom also as a result of this pursuit of more?

Jane Bond (11:30):
Yes. And you do take on that persona of going after more and more and more because the more you get, the more you want.

Cammie Doder (11:37):
And then you decided to change your trajectory. Tell us a little bit about that, because change is hard, not just going through something, it’s hard. Change is hard, but changing yourself and this purpose and something you’ve driven yourself so far to achieve and you’ve been successful. Tell us a little bit about that process of making those changes.

Jane Bond (11:59):
Well, for me, change is constant. That’s pretty much the only thing we have changed. If we don’t change yourself, nothing changes. So change is always constant. We have to evolve. The way we evolve is something different. So for me, I had to stop and say, what do you really want? How do you want to live your life? Where do you want to be? Do you want to be involved with all of this for the rest of your life? Okay, you’re comfortable, but are you happy? And then I had to say, well, happy is fleeting. Where’s the joy in all of this? Okay, now you have the things that you thought you really needed to have in your life, all these shiny things, all of this external material things, but you feel empty. So where do you go from there, Jane? Because now you need to fill this void.

(12:57):
And the void was basically coming back to what I knew was love running away from that just to take, I need to take a breath and sit alone. I always say solitude is your biggest friend. It just silence and being with yourself and giving yourself self love and just being in the quiet of who you are will really open up your mind. And that’s what I did. I just sat still for a minute. I just got really quiet and it’s been almost two years. And now I have more clarity I think, than I’ve ever had in my life. And I’ve had the opportunity to peel back and play the records of my life and say, okay, where did this go? Left and now take it right. And I feel so much at peace and it takes time to dismantle, and that’s what I can say. I had to dismantle that huge tapestry that I put together and annihilate that person that I was to bring forth the person that I’m becoming. And I’m still in the becoming stage because it’s hard in the beginning and messy in the middle.

Sandi Bragar (14:12):
Yeah, it’s really hard. What you’ve done is one of the hardest things anyone could do. I’m curious, Jane, just about that, dismantling from a money perspective, how has your life changed from a financial perspective as you’ve made that right turn to get back to who you really are?

Jane Bond (14:30):
I just look at money as real instead of an idea.

Sandi Bragar (14:35):
You’re talking about shiny objects. Did you sell all this shiny objects?

Jane Bond (14:39):
I’m liquidated quite a few things and I feel like I can eat, pray in love.

Cammie Doder (14:46):
Well said.

Jane Bond (14:47):
I always go to that When someone asks me, it’s like, yeah, it’s about eat, praying in love, and just maybe doing some traveling, really understanding other people and just being human and being benevolent.

Cammie Doder (15:01):
I need to know more about becoming an identity strategist. I am very intrigued. I love, I am putting it in the bucket of something I think about, which is someone’s brand, their personal brand. You went through your own understanding of your identity and now you’re an identity strategist. What does that mean first to you?

Jane Bond (15:21):
That means being able to speak to leaders, founders, and entrepreneurs. Like myself, I’ve always been an entrepreneur. I never really worked for anyone, so I’ve always made my own money, and that’s not easy. You have to make the phone ring. Funny story. I remember picking up the phone wondering if it was broke.

Cammie Doder (15:43):
Sing on.

Jane Bond (15:44):
Yeah, so becoming an identity strategist, it is definitely what I’ve lived through myself and just the teachings of understanding conversations with people, understanding where they come from, and knowing that even though you become successful, you can find yourself totally empty at the end of that rainbow you’ve been chasing. And money doesn’t really make you happy. It makes you comfortable. It allows you to buy the healthcare. It allows you to buy the cars and the homes and the bags, the shoes and everything else that go along with that. But we’re a society that has been taught to collect things, and that’s what our outer identity shows that we’re successful and we’re really not, at times, in my case, that I didn’t feel successful, if you can understand that, because I always felt like there was a void, even though I had the finances and everything that went along with that.

(16:44):
It was the character that I wanted to make sure I was cultivating and what I was putting out there. Because money is energy and people can feel that, especially in your home, if there is none, you can cut that tension with a knife. But if there is a lot, that still doesn’t mean everything is right. And I think we as people in a society, we become or we take on these careers that really aren’t who we want to be. We take on them because of inherited traits, family, social judgment, social condemnation. I mean, my God, with social media today, you can be anything you want in 48 hours. We’re out there and we’re doing these things for financial gain as opposed to coming from our heart. I was telling someone, I met this gentleman one night and he had just had a baby boy, and the baby boy was maybe nine months old, and he was like, yes, my doctor.

(17:42):
And I thought to myself, I wonder if you’re going to put pressure on that young man as he grows older because you’re a doctor to become a doctor, and maybe he doesn’t even want to be a doctor, but once the pressure is on through generations of doctors and nurses or whatever you have in your family, once that pressure is on, they could feel pressure that they have to do this. And if you’re always talking, they don’t want to disappoint you. So that’s what happens. And then you get to a point, well, I don’t want to be a doctor.

Cammie Doder (18:12):
That’s right. It’s so hard

Jane Bond (18:15):
To disappoint your family, to disappoint all the people that came before you to help you get there. That’s a part of being an identity strategist, understanding how you can dismantle the identities that people have been given and put upon them, because that’s a heavy load to carry. And then the disappointment, the judgment, the guilt, and here it is. You still have to be out here and save face.

Sandi Bragar (18:41):
Jane, you talked before about being in the phase of your own identity of becoming who you really are again, and I’m wondering, as you continue through that phase, what role is money playing in your life and how often are you thinking about money and talking about it?

Jane Bond (19:01):
Money always stays with you because no matter what you do as a career, I mean you need money. So I never forget that part of it. I mean, thank God I did well enough to sustain myself and still be happy and do the things I want to do. But when it comes to that, of course I’m still thinking about money and how I can make sure it accumulates.

Sandi Bragar (19:27):
It sounds like when you’re pursuing professions that weren’t filling you up as a person, you are generating financial success and you’ve been able to leverage that financial success during your pivot

Jane Bond (19:41):
Absolutely.

Sandi Bragar (19:41):
To finding who you are. And it sounds like it’s taken the burden off of having to think about money and how you’re generating it maybe as much as you would’ve if you hadn’t accumulated those resources.

Jane Bond (19:55):
I believe people that do pivot into other careers, they definitely have to have some knowledge of finances and how they’re going to survive with that new career. But most of the people I talk to are successful people, and when they’re considering pivoting, they’re pretty much stable as far as finances are concerned.

Sandi Bragar (20:19):
I know from the work that we do with clients on the wealth management side, it can still be difficult to intentionally change your earning potential by making a pivot because of the identity piece of what we’ve been talking about. Sometimes people’s identity is as a wealth creator, a wealth accumulator, and even though the intention is to move into something different, I’ve seen that it can be really difficult of, wait, who am I if I’m not making all that money?

Jane Bond (20:56):
That’s the question that comes about, who am I if I am making this money too? That’s true.

Cammie Doder (21:03):
Yeah.

Jane Bond (21:03):
It’s a contrast because even though you’ve made this money, you still feel unfulfilled. So that question comes into play too. Who am I? And even though this is what I’m doing and people see me this way, and that’s what I was talking about as far as the social judgment is concerned, you have to dismantle that. You have to block that out because guess what? No man’s opinion is more important than opinion of yourself. And along with that comes courage. And with courage, it has to be self-belief and self faith, and I don’t mean the faith that we get in church, I’m talking within, and that takes a very strong person and it takes coaching and it takes really setting up pillars for people to understand how they have to get there.

Sandi Bragar (21:45):
And I think also identifying values.

Jane Bond (21:47):
Values are trade-offs too.

Sandi Bragar (21:49):
Yeah, but I think if we’re really clear on what our values are, it gives us a framework for

Jane Bond (21:55):
Oh, absolutely.

Sandi Bragar (21:56):
For this sort of pivot that we’re talking about,

Jane Bond (21:59):
Society, T rewards, inauthenticity as opposed to authenticity. It rewards that, and that’s where the problem lies most of the time. When people realize that that’s not who they want to be, it is a hard pivot and they do refrain and guess what? That old identity creeps up because it’s comfortable and it’s comfortable because you know it and going into the new identity, there is a framework for it, and there is a way to coach someone in it, and they have to really be committed to dismantling that person and they have to annihilate that and break it down where they’re only bringing the good parts forward. That is your values that you’re bringing forward.

Sandi Bragar (22:46):
I love that. Get comfortable with the discomfort. Yeah,

Jane Bond (22:49):
You have to and we all can do hard things.

Sandi Bragar (22:53):
And Jane, tell us, what’s your next money conversation going to be and who’s it going to be with?

Jane Bond (23:00):
Probably myself. No. I’m totally in alignment with understanding money, and my next conversation will just be just totally orienting myself to how to utilize my money in the best manner. Now that I’m in this position, I do want to do a lot of traveling. I do want to revisit places that I had gone to and never really took the time to look at it and get grounded with it or with the places that I did travel to.

Cammie Doder (23:34):
That’s important. Sounds like you’ve got an eye towards having conversations with yourself about money and your values, which is really powerful. Jane, would you share where is the best place for our listeners to find you?

Jane Bond (23:47):
They can find me at Jane Bond under, that’s three on Instagram, and you can definitely find me on LinkedIn,

Cammie Doder (23:55):
And we’re so glad we found you to have this conversation on Money Tales. It’s been really incredible to talk with you.

Jane Bond (24:01):
Thank you so much. You guys have been great.

Sandi Bragar (24:11):
Jane Bon on Money Tales. That was fun.

Cammie Doder (24:13):
So fun, Sandi. She seemed like a superwoman, awesome lady. I think her name was absolutely perfect for who she is. I started smiling when she talked about her eat, pray, love period of life and how that really the power of controlling money and not let money control you, and that’s really what she was trying to spend time working on, and for me, naming things or bringing up a book I read that really obviously went really viral and touched people’s lives. That really touched me when she brought that up and she had her pray

Sandi Bragar (24:50):
Love moment. Yeah, it just makes that concept more tangible, right? It does more relatable, and I think it’s a really good device to use and other parts of your financial life because when you put a name on something, it is an entree into that control, right? If you don’t like budgeting because budgeting brings you down, come up with another name for budget.

Cammie Doder (25:14):
I like that. Sandi, what would you call it?

Sandi Bragar (25:16):
What would I call it? Cash plan?

Cammie Doder (25:18):
Yeah, something more playful.

Sandi Bragar (25:20):
Cash management strategy.

Cammie Doder (25:22):
Make it fun. Your cash enjoyment plan,

Sandi Bragar (25:26):
And this is actually something I talk to clients about when they are naming trusts that they’re creating

Cammie Doder (25:33):
Or

Sandi Bragar (25:33):
Foundations or donor advised accounts, traditionally, people just slap their name on it,

Cammie Doder (25:39):
Right? It’s easy. Don’t have to think about it.

Sandi Bragar (25:41):
X and y revocable trust, but there’s room as long as someone else hasn’t used the name before, you can create a name that has meaning to

Cammie Doder (25:52):
You,

Sandi Bragar (25:53):
And people do do this with limited partnerships

Cammie Doder (25:56):
And foundations. I like this.

Sandi Bragar (25:58):
Sometimes with foundations, I think there’s room for people to do even more of it when this concept resonates with you, because names are just an easy way, again, to create a touchstone, to create an emotional connection to something and make it more fun, more exciting, and even more purposeful.

Cammie Doder (26:16):
When you were talking about that, my brain went to, it goes from the head, oh, the such and such. Name, name, name, revocable trust, to some emotive. I went to the heart, right? To the heart, right? Thinking about, oh, yeah, it would just remind you. It makes me think about my passwords when I set up a password, I make it something that I want to remind myself every day to inspire me or to motivate me.

Sandi Bragar (26:40):
Yeah, A little affirmation

Cammie Doder (26:41):
That’s right

Sandi Bragar (26:42):
Is the direction I usually go or something that makes me laugh.

Cammie Doder (26:45):
I love that.

Sandi Bragar (26:46):
Yeah, so we could bring that into our money lives, for sure.

Cammie Doder (26:50):
For sure. Well, what a treat to speak with Jane on Money Tales and to hear her evolved story, and it’s no wonder that she’s an identity strategist. This is what is right at the core of who she is.

Sandi Bragar (27:06):
Thanks again, Jane, for being on the podcast with us, and thanks to our listeners for listening in. If you enjoyed this episode and think others in your life will benefit from it, please share and rate us on your favorite podcast platform. We’ll see you again next time on Money Tales.

Cammie Doder (27:28):
Thanks for listening to the Money Tales podcast. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, share it with someone you think would benefit from listening and leave us a review on your favorite podcasting platform. Your ratings and reviews help more people find our podcast. If you’re inspired to gain clarity and peace of mind about financial matters, don’t hesitate to reach out to our team at Aspiriant. Go to Aspiriant.com/start a dialogue, or you can email Sandi and me at podcasts@aspiriant.com. See you next time.